Anxiety
Keepin' It Real.
Hey hey hey!
So today I want to start a series I will post every once in a while. I think it is important to not only inspire each other in a more "fun" way (aka talking about beauty, fashion, music, etc.) but to also inspire each other in a way that says "hey, my life isn't perfect either. Here's what helps me."
As women (and men!) we need to focus on building each other up instead of finding ourselves in the comparison rut. I know I personally am not a fan of when all someone gushes about is the perfection in their life. I'm of here like "Heyyyyy, my life is messy and complicated and I stress too much!" I am a firm believer in owning your shiz. Own it 'til the day you die, girl. OWN. IT.
Ok. Now that I have that out of the way, lets get to the real nitty gritty here. Life has been stressful lately. Anxiety is a struggle for me and my anxiety level is at an all time high. Yes, yes. I know I just announced that I am getting married and I should be "glowing". Well guess what? I'm not. At least, I wasn't. This is the real part here, kids. It is not that I was anxious about the engagement. Not even a little bit. I have found the kindest, sweetest, most patient and loving man and I am beyond tickled to get to be called his wife one day. TICKLED, y'all. But the idea of actually getting to the whole marriage thing (aka the wedding planning) makes me almost break out into hives it is so scary.
My entire life I have been different. I have never dreamt of this big, ball of a wedding. I never had visions of poofy dresses and fancy meals. I have always been a free spirit when it comes to the whole idea of a wedding. But the big wedding world sucked me in and I lost sight of what I wanted for a little bit and it almost put me over the edge. Almost. So the stress of that combined with different situations at work and in my personal life, my anxiety has been at an all time high.
The reason I am still here to tell the story (ha!) though, is because I am learning to focus on the bigger picture. Or the biggest picture. I am learning to focus on the creator of this union I am going to enter in to. The one who made that piece of my soul to match my better half's exactly. The one who lead me to him and made me for him.
I hate to admit it, but I sometimes go at life alone. I try to do things by myself as if I can just willpower my way through anything, but I can't. So instead, I am remembering to pray. I have prayed more about all of the little anxieties in my life over the past few days and I am have been singing "Hallelujah!" to Jesus more than I have in a while. Becuase the power of prayer is so very real. Now, I know that praying doesn't mean that life is going to be perfect. But leaning on God so heavily these last few days has shown me that even though it may not be perfect, walking with Him makes life so much less scary and it makes me much more brave.
One of my wishes for 2016 was to worry less. Prayer is helping heal that sense of worry in my heart. Leaning on God and honestly actually for real trusting in His plan is life changing. And I do not mean just believing that as in, you know that is what your pastor and small group leader have always told you so it has to be true. I mean really believing it in the depth of your soul and with all of your heart. Truthfully, it has taken me a while to get here, but I am so beyond GRATEFUL that Jesus has lead me to this place.
So, if you are struggling with worry, anxiety, illness or any difficult life experience, I encourage you to really pray. And pray a lot. There is healing in the power of prayer, y'all. There just is.
If you have any prayer requests for yourself or someone you know, please leave them in the comments below. I would love to pray with and for each and every one of you wonderful people reading this.
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