Hey, hey, hey.

I've been in the middle my whole life. I am a middle child so it comes with the territory. Growing up, it was a cool place to be. I could hang with the kids or the adults, I learned how to get the best of both worlds and it gave me the excuse of "middle child syndrome" whenever I was feeling left out or shisted. But as an adult, the middle is possibly one of my least favorite places to be.

I love beginnings. They are all fresh and shiny and new. They bring excitement and anticipation and dreams upon dreams of what could be. There is honestly nothing better than a beginning. 

Endings are kind of my jam, as well. They can be bittersweet but there is nothing I love more than a good, solid closure to a period in time, situation or conversation. It brings such peace to my heart, my mind, my life. 

Middles, however, are the sticky, nitty gritty states where my mind is out of control. Middles are tough. So tough. You would think that, for a girl who grew up in a constant state of "the middle", that they wouldn't be so difficult. But you would be wrong.

The middle is where my anxiety is at its highest. They scare the living daylights out of me and I am in a perpetual state of wanting to be somewhere else or always envisioning the worst case scenario. I am the ultimate thinker of the worst case scenario. Just ask anyone who knows me. My brain jumps to the most absurd and drastic worst cases, too. I have been this way my whole life.

I think that is what I hate most about the middle. It makes me think so deeply about what could go wrong that I worry intensely about things that have not even happened (and may never happen). Fortunately for me,  I have been blessed with a life where very few, if any, of those worst case scenarios have actually come to fruition, but the worry from them has definitely been something that has constantly been plaguing my happiness and stealing my joy. 

Are any of you haters of the middle? Or am I the only one? 

My goal is to find my way out of the fear of the middle and in to a world where I just let life happen. I am not sure how I am going to get there yet, but I will be sure to share what I learn on my journey with you all.

I hope you are all enjoying your Sunday, doing something you love with people you love!